Monthly Archives: November 2008

Promise Me One Thing: Nothing

Words are just words. You can take them or leave them. Believe them or not. Actions are what count. I’d rather have someone never promise me anything than to break the simplest of vows. It is so pessimistic to hope for nothing and be pleasantly surprised if something good happens. But when you examine that philosophy and compare it to one where you expect even the mundane and it doesn’t come to fruition, I would pick the cynical view any day. The sad thing is that some people just overlook the simple things and never realize that these empty promises are the ones that hurt most. It is unfortunate that people can be so absorbed in their own absolute universe that they never realize that they are surrounded by amazing things; things from which they will never be able to benefit because they are too busy taking advantage of them.

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Losing a Friend

One of the hardest things in the world is losing a friend to death. It is so final. So abrupt. So totally life changing on the inside although nothing on the outside changes. You will never be able to talk to them again. You will never be able to hold each other when you hurt. You can never confide your secrets to them. Or simply hear them laugh. Sometimes death comes like a thief in the night and takes a part of us that we never knew we needed so badly until it was gone. I think even worse, however is when you lose a friend who continues to live. You could talk to them, but they just won’t listen. You could hold them, but they won’t let you. You can’t hear them laugh because they have taken that gift away from you. When someone dies, you at least have the consolation that it wasn’t planned. It wasn’t a premeditated act of removing your friendship. But when a friend walks away, every time you wish that you could talk to them you have to face that not only are they not there for you, but they are not there for you because they don’t want to be. You are not important enough to them for them to stand tall and weather the storm. And as heart breaking as it is that you no longer have them in your life, it is almost unbearable to know that they are not there by choice. And as you struggle to forget them, you wonder if you were so easily forgotten. You wonder if it hurt them to walk away or if they simply never cared at all. I assure you that the ignorance of their intent is anything but bliss. It is torture. And so you continue on with a hole in your heart and a sadness in your soul. Wondering. Waiting. Never knowing.