Sweet Home Alabama: Episode Five

Devin starts off on a date with Tribble who got a boat to “match her eyes.” He outlines how he played football at Clemson (he was the back up quarterback, by the way) and then arena football and is just short of his masters degree and how he now works as a bar tender. Devin should be in marketing. She spins him being a bar tender as “having a lot of freedom.” She thinks the date is perfect. In fact, she thinks it’s better than the Titanic (I only wish I was making up this dialog).  Next the two crazy kids hung out on a football field. They sit on the “sacred spot” at the fifty yard line and have some stimulating conversation. Devin says that Tribble scares her because she thinks she will be just another notch (in his belt? bedpost? scoreboard?). So he tries to remove all doubt for her by making out with her. He brags about being an MVP of an Alabama Mississippi All-Star game on the field they are laying on (this is true: it was a high school football game) and they continue to gush perfection compliments all over each other.

After the date, Devin takes the guys to Tuscaloosa, Alabama (her “hometown”) to help clean up tornado damage. As sarcastic as I am about this show, I have to say that close to forty people in Tuscaloosa were killed in the storms this year, including one of Devin’s Phi Mu sorority sisters. Over one thousand people were injured in the path of the tornado that stretched over a mile wide. The devastation was vast and so many people are still displaced and hurting. Thanks to CMT for helping keep this in the forefront of our minds, and thanks to the cast and crew of Sweet Home Alabama for giving your time to help clean up. I’m sure the guys will never forget their experience that day. (For information on how you can help, visit CMTOneCountry.com) And as much as it means to me that they helped the people of my home state, I have to say that Kash did make a noteworthy stupid statement when he picked up a small Happy Meal type stuffed bear and said “This could have belonged to some little kid.” Good guess, Kash.

Kash gets the one-on-one date and he reminds her of how he was the first guy to talk to her the first day (remember, he brought her the sweet tea?).  Kash pulls the teddy bear out of his pocket and tells Devin that he knows she has a lot going on, but that she needs to remember that love comes from the heart and not from the pocket (wallet). He gives he a quick kiss and walks away as Devin confesses that he is the perfect guy “on paper.” (That’s usually the kiss of death.)

Devin meets the guys down on the beach and thanks them for being there. She lets them know that two more guys will be leaving tonight. The boys all refill their beer and the country guys slip off for some bonding time. Kash tells them that it’s more important for Devin to pick the right person than for her to pick him, but that he knows that she should pick one of the five remaining country boys and not one of the two city slickers. Tribble agrees. Soon Boyd shows up and is greeted with a beer. He pulls Kash from the group and he goes to meet with Devin on the back of her old blue pick-up truck. She tells him that he’s perfect on paper, but that she doesn’t think she has strong enough feelings for him. He says no hard feelings and they hug it out. He uses the excuse of reminding her to “follow this right here – your heart” to almost touch her boob. The rest of the country boys walk him out arm and arm while the city boys look on.

Next Boyd grabs Adam.  At the tailgate, Devin tells Adam that he has been her source of strength and that she looks forward to hanging out with him more. He drops about five g’s and gives her a goofy smile before headin’ back to the house. Country Cody is next to see Devin.  They hug and she says that she’s blessed to have had him in her life even for a short period of time. She thinks that he is the perfect gentleman, but that she doesn’t think she can keep up with his rodeo lifestyle. Then he tells her that he’s glad that she’s letting him go because he can’t give her the things that the other guys can and that he thinks she deserves better than him. She gives him a small wrapped gift to remember her by and they hug again. When he gets back to the house, he tells the guys that he is happy that she will end up with one of them since they can give her more than he can. (The gift was a giant belt buckle.) He tells the guys good bye and leaves to go back to the road – back to fast women and pretty horses. Wait, wouldn’t pretty women and fast horses be better? The remaining guys sat around and mourned the loss of the two guys and and the country boys draw a line in the sand and declare that it is Us against Them. New York gets into it with Tribble because “Cody was like a brother” to him.

Oh! Next week, Devin’s dad comes to visit and he knows how to use Google. Which of the boys will be exposed by Daddy?

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One response to “Sweet Home Alabama: Episode Five

  1. “Which of the boys will be exposed by Daddy?” Apropos for a show based on Alabama – a daddy exposing a boy.

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