Sweet Home Alabama: Episode Two

I can’t believe I’m watching this show just so I can blog about it, but I figure if Jennifer Lopez can put up with Marc Anthony for a full seven years, I can sit through one hour of mediocre television.

Tonight the South got even hotter as the guys got ready for actual dates with Devin. The episode starts with guys working out, grilling out and showing out.

One city guy was totally offended that the Horse Whisperer was wearing jeans for his date with Devin, but he stuck to his Southern roots and wore the denim. Of course he tames a wild horse in 45 seconds at the beginning of his date.He told Devin she could “pet on the horse,” but all I heard was Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird say, “You can pet him if you want to, Mr. Aurthur.”

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jersey boy highjacks the country boys’ barbeque and it does not go over well. Now I’ll admit, I think most of the city slickers in this show are real jack-weeds, but I’m from Bama and I’ll tell you straight up; if I marinate meat, light a grill and then someone else wants to stand over the heat and flip it all for me, I’d let them knock themselves out while I drank a beer and watched the ballgame. I think a country boy can survive someone else flipping his chicken. Elsewhere in the house, New York was folding paper towels into fancy napkins and setting the table for all the guys – he only wishes Devin could see what a pretty table he set.

Back on the date, Devin and the Horse Whisperer sat on the dock of the bay  and made out and then giggled. After the smooching, he went back to the house for some leftover Jersey chicken.

For a group date, Devin took the guys tubing on the river. Rodeo Cody jumped in the water and broke his nose. Since he was bleeding all over the place, Devin gave him a little alone conversation before she took off her cover-up and jumped in the water, because all good Southern girls know that if you jump in the water straight away and get your hair wet that you will look better than if you wait for it to get half wet and all wind blown while you’re in the boat. After some tubing and boating, Devin selects Joey from Arizona to go on the first city date.

When in Rome, Joey decided to dress the part and wore jeans for his date to the sweet shop, followed by some porch sitting. After talking about how sweaty they were, Joey used the words “fist pump” and “douche bag” and then went back to the house. All the other city guys asked him about his date, hoping that he represented the city well. But he said that he really wasn’t like the other city guys and within an hour he was wearing a cowboy hat and bonding with the Southern Gents (See, I told you the South would rise again) and had completely alienated all of his city brothers.

Devin goes and sits in the back of her old pick-up truck to think about who she needs to talk to before making her eliminations. First to go talk to Devin is the city guy that wears a headband. She tells him that she only has friend feelings for him and he heads back to the house to pack his bags and go back to his boy band, I mean Long Island. Next up is the quarterback, Tribble, from the country. Devin is nervous that he may be too hot for her, but he lets her know that he could date down a little and she keeps him around. Country singer, Mike, grabs his guitar and gets a handshake from all his country brothers, including his new city brother from Arizona. He sings Devin an original song that he just wrote thinking that she, like most women, digs guys who play guitar. But she dumps him anyway.

If your keeping score, that’s one more city boy and one more country boy out the door, which means that the country boys are still in the lead. But as country singer Mike and Scarlet O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day.”


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