Tonight Chris Harrison welcomed us to The Men Tell All and promised to answer the burning questions that have been plaguing all of America. First, He sat down with Ashley in a prerecorded interview to review items such as drunken Tim, Jeff the mask, William the fallen, Ryan the unreal, and Bentley the player. Then they recapped some of the behind the scenes items that didn’t make it to the show including JP breaking the entertainment center, Ames ballroom dancing, Mickey hanging from a harness, canine urination, sampling local food, rice filled bamboo, toe cramps, creatively placed bananas, and Vaseline.
Back in the studio, the audience of middle-aged women and a few guys that were forced to be there squeal with delight as Chris Harrison previews the next season of the Bachelor Pad complete with tears and fights and back-stabbing. Highlighted are guests Michelle Money, Jake and Vienna, Ames, Guard and Protect Your Heart Boy, and a whole lot of Karma.
Next all of the guys who were dumped are welcomed to the stage to give their thoughts on this season. Most of the guys are in suits. Ames is surprisingly dressed down – he’s even wearing jeans! Perhaps he’s turning over a new leaf. They make fun of Tim for getting drunk and review Jeff’s mask. They discuss Ryan being a goober and William being too aggressive. All of the guys gang up on William for being a jerk and the audience seems to agree. Nick stands up for Ryan and his “camp counselor” personality. Then Nick stands up for Jeff’s mask. Tim owns up to being a jerk for attacking Jeff, but says the mask is still creepy.
William joins Chris Harrison in the hot seat to review his Vegas date with Ashley. Then they make things awkward by replaying William’s terrible performance at the roast, and ultimately his dismissal from the show. You can hear a pin drop after the clip plays. William admits that he has only watched one episode of the show and that it is embarrassing to see how he acted on the show. He admits that he was an ass and vows to change the way he acts. When Nick tried to call him out and asks “Why are we all here?” William responds with “Because none of us can get a date,” and Chris Harrison compliments him and tells him that is how you shut someone down without being an ass.
Next in the hot seat is Ryan. We see a video review of Ryan’s time on the show from getting the first impression rose to his dissertation on water heaters. We get to see Ashley dump him not once, but twice. All the while, Ryan sweats and huffs and puffs in a live shot on the bottom corner of the screen. Ryan outlines the books he read before the show and the effort he had made to really connect with Ashley.
Ames joins Chris Harrison in the hot seat with his “awkward charm.” The audience goes crazy as he sits there looking goofy with his Twilight hair and world’s largest watch. As they roll clips of Ashley’s time with Ames, we are treated to Ames in the bottom corner with his mouth agape as if he’s catching flies. He tells Chris that his time on the show made him a better person and that he wished Ashley all the happiness. Chris Harrison presents Ames with a gift – the pink boxing gloves he used (or didn’t use) on the show.
To a chorus of boos, they roll the footage of Bentley’s time on the show. He goes on and on about how he’s not interested in Ashley and about how it’s just fun and games. Then he talks about how dumb all of the other guys are. Although Bentley was not there – as he declined the invitation – they discussed him anyway. The guys agree that he is a coward and an ass. None of the guys blame Ashley for falling for Bentley. Michelle Money was brought up to the hot seat since she had warned Ashley about Bentley before the show started. Michelle explains how she knows Bentley’s ex-wife and how she warned Ashley. She defended Ashley by saying that Bentley is a charmer and that women tend to fall for the bad boy. Bachelor, Chris, says that Bentley can “Go BLEEP yourself!” and the audience cheers!
Finally, with minutes left, Ashley joins Chris Harrison. She said the worst part of the process was feeling like a fool over the Bentley situation. She fights back tears as she talks about the time she wasted on Bentley. She asks the guys to forgive her for the mistake she made with Bentley. Blake tries to be nice about the situation, but doesn’t do a very good job of it. Ryan tells her that he gets it now and is thankful for the experience. Tim apologizes to Ashley for the mistakes he made the first night and slips in that he’s cheering for JP.
Previous contestants and winners (?) Deanna, Jason and Ally milk their fifteen minutes of fame a little longer and help promote that ABC concept of the “Bachelor Family” by joining Ashley and Chris on stage. Ally says this season was hard for her to watch. Deanna talks about how hard it is to send people home. Jason tells Ashley to forget about the audience criticism and to focus on what’s inside. Then we are treated to outtakes and bloopers from the show that never made it to television including wet spots, belching, bugs, frogs, Ames impersonations, and men without pants. And finally, the last ten minutes is filled with footage of Ben and JP and the big question: Who will Ashley choose, the man or the boy? I think we all know who I’m pulling for.