My pizza was delivered just as the episode was starting, and I’m glad I didn’t order it with extra cheese, because there was plenty enough cheese coming through my television screen.
Ashley went on three dates on this episode, one of which she claimed was the best date of her life. I guess that means that it blew her carnival date with Brad, which she claimed at that time to be her best date ever, right out of the water. And how could it not? After all, it did take place in the middle of the fountain at the Bellagio hotel and casino. For me, personally, I think this was the weirdest date ever, but maybe I’m just not used to planning a wedding and then sitting in the middle of a giant bird bath while large amounts of tourists stand around and watch me eat and yell stuff at me.
The group date was another excuse for Ashley to show us her dance moves and run around in a mid-drift baring outfit. I was having flashbacks of Roberto and Ali in the Lion King and was left once again wondering just how pissed off the members of the audience were considering they paid to see professional dancers in one of the best dance shows in Vegas, but instead were subjected to Ashley prancing around while six not so rhythmic bachelors got their grove on.
The last solo date was a real gamble as Ashley and her date flipped a coin to determine everything they did, including whether or not the bachelor would get a rose. Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my – oh, wait, let me flip a coin – yep, it’s on heads – you are indeed fine. Here’s your rose.
Just like last week, this episode left me with several unanswered questions:
Did William do a bad George W. Bush impersonation at the cocktail party?
Did Mickey have that raised eyebrow look on his face at the end of his date because he was super excited or because he had no clue who Colbie Caillat was?
Did the Jabbawockeez wears masks so that Jeff wouldn’t feel so isolated?
Do guys really sit around the pool and talk about relationships with other guys?
Why is Bentley the only male cast member utilizing confessional footage? Is it because the other guys are just so honest that they simply say everything out in the open? Or is it because he’s a giant human bottle of Summer’s Eve that makes previous bachelor, Wes, seem as innocent as kittens and rainbows?
Does Ashley really think she’s a good judge of character? Hey, West, sorry about your dead wife, sure that was hard to talk about, but you know, Bentley left his daughter that he probably only sees every other weekend to go on this journey, so I think I’ll give the group date rose to him.
Why would anyone name their little girl Cozy? Sure it’s cute now since she’s a little girl, but did they not think of all of the terribly inappropriate pick up lines and nick names that men are going to use on her when she hits puberty?
How does Chris Harrison keep a straight face every week?
The bachelors sent home this episode were the hair stylist with Shawn Cassidy hair, the sticky note salesman, and a random good looking guy with a decent job and no ulterior motive.
I’m hoping Ashley figures out how to play this game soon. After all, it’s not her first rodeo. I’m thinking Constantine will make it to the end. After all, he’s from Georgia, and there’s nothing like a good southern boy. Ivy Leaguer, Ames, will probably stick around as well as the dude from the Josh Groban School of Vino. With all that hair in the mix, she should probably keep JP around just to balance things out.
And there you have it; episode two in a nutshell, in case you missed it.